When it doesn’t make sense.

Today has been a struggle to remember why I stay. Some days love just isn’t enough when PTSD is involved. Loyalty, tenacity and fight are the things that make me stay on days like these.

Loyalty because you don’t kick someone when they are down. No, he isn’t taking care of his mental health right now but he is still sick with PTSD. How do you walk out on someone when they need you the most? (Even if they claim they need no one and nothing.)

Tenacity because I REFUSE to let PTSD destroy us. If we fail on our own, that is one thing. But if we fail because I gave up and let PTSD drag him to hell, that is not okay.

Fight because I was brought up that we fight for who and what we love. In my past I didn’t fight hard enough when I should have and I’ll be damned if I make that mistake again.

*I* have to be able to look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day and know that I did my best. That I tried my hardest and that I loved with everything I have in me. And because of that, I stay when staying is harder than just walking away.

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