I get that you dated him for five whole weeks THIRTY years ago and that he somehow broke your heart. High school is like that. But marriage is hard enough without people like you inserting themselves in to the equation. Add to it that we deal with catastrophic injuries, PTSD, TBI, cognitive disabilities and all that go with those and, well, you’re a problem. I know how it felt to me when I found out that you were reminiscing with my husband and began calling him “darling” during your conversations. It was a huge gut punch. I wonder if your husband/daughter/church know that you are not the perfect wife/mother/christian that you pretend to be? I wonder how your people would feel if they knew that you were stepping outside of YOUR marriage with my husband? I’ve considered getting your husband involved to put a stop to this. The only reason that I haven’t is because you have a minor child that could be impacted if your husband dumped you over your indiscretions. What you don’t understand is that you are dealing with someone with cognitive disabilities as well as self esteem issues due to his disfiguring injuries. He is highly susceptible to suggestion and you are suggesting that I would be better off without him. (I wouldn’t be – I love my husband in ways that I didn’t know that I could love someone.) You’ve never asked how I feel. When I asked you to stop what you were doing you feigned ignorance and said that you were just being “southern”. No, no you aren’t.
While your husband was hospitalized for a stroke and alcohol detox you were trying to get my husband to leave me for you. Imagine if you poured that energy in to your husband’s recovery and your marriage… You claim that you love your husband – act like it.
My friend said it best, “My thought on M is that she is bored with her rich husband and the anonymity of the internet allows her to feel like she a horny teenager again, and she doesn’t care how that affects your marriage or R’s need for affirmation.”
You said that “this isn’t high school”. I agree, so why are you behaving like you’re still 15 and dating R? Why are you disrespecting the vows that my husband and I took? Why are you disrespecting your own vows?
What I think you fail to understand is that when you are done with your games you will leave an already broken man more broken. He is not a piece on a chess board to move about for your entertainment. He is my husband and you are hurting he and I by inserting yourself in to our marriage. I know that he’s told you that we are not divorcing, as you had suggested. Please, please, respect that and leave him alone. Leave our marriage alone. Care for your own marriage instead of trying to break mine.
To all the people that hide behind a computer and step out on their spouses, don’t. It’s not harmless. It is cheating and it does hurt people. Above all else, it’s morally wrong.